Admit it … you’ve wondered.

You’re writing and writing and writing, and a few people say they like it, but you’re just not getting results. Traffic is coming in at a trickle, links are hard to come by, and your comments section is about as lively as a nightclub at breakfast.

And you can’t help wondering …

Do you just need to be patient, waiting for your traffic to snowball?

Or could it be possible that, really, your content sucks (thereby breaking the first rule of Copyblogger), and everyone is just being nice so as not to hurt your delicate artistic feelings?

The hard truth: there’s no way to know for sure

For one, we’re talking about quality, which is subjective by definition. One man’s junk is another man’s treasure, and all that jazz.

It’s also a matter of scale. This isn’t American Idol, where you have 30 million people voting, transforming a singer into a superstar through the power of public consensus.

If you’re a beginning b
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logger, you might have fewer than 100 regular readers, and 20 of them are your friends and family. And let’s face it; your mother is going to like everything you do, no matter how bad it is. That’s her job.

So who are you supposed to listen to?

Well … nobody, and everybody, all at the same time. The maddening thing about creating anything is no one can tell you how to do it, and yet everyone’s opinion can teach you something.

There aren’t any rules, no, but there are warnings. If your content sucks, you’ll see dozens, maybe hundreds of telltale signs, hinting that something is wrong.

I’ve collected 20 of the most common here. Take a look through them, and see if any describe you:

1. You think your content is “good enough”

If you had to rate your content on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you give it? A 6? A 7? That’s what most bloggers say.

But here’s the problem: you can’t really grade content on a scale. You’re either blowing people’s minds or putting them to sleep, and there’s nothing in between.

Put another way, content graded as a 6 or 7 gets the same reaction as a 1. It’s a waste of time to publish it.

2. Your posts read like journal entries

Not too long ago, most people used their blog as a sort of online journal, where people took a few minutes every day to write down their thoughts. But blogs have evolved beyond that. Now they’re more like online magazines, with highly polished content.

If your posts look more like “Dear Diary” than a magazine you would see at the newsstand, you’ve probably got a problem.

3. You’re not getting many (or any) comments

Comments are one of the best ways to measure reader engagement. If you have a few hundred subscribers, and yet none of them are commenting, then it might be because they find your content unworthy of their attention.

Translation: it sucks.

4. Your visitors stay less than two minutes, on average

Install Google Analytics, and look at the average amount of time visitors are staying on your website.

For most traffic sources, anything less than two minutes is bad. If you are at less than one minute, then your content is repelling people. You can do better.

5. You spend less than an hour on each post

Yes, it’s possible to write a great blog post in 15 minutes, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that it doesn’t happen very often. Most of the popular bloggers I know spend anywhere from 2 to 10 hours on each blog post they write. If you’re not, you should be.

6. You’ve never received fan mail

If your content is good, people will go out of their way to tell you how good it is. We’re not just talking about nice little tweets; we’re talking about five page e-mails where they tell you their life story and thank God for your existence.

No, you won’t get much of it when you’re a beginner, but you will get some. If you haven’t, then your content isn’t as good as it should be.

7. You’ve never received hate mail

The opposite is also true. If your content is good, you’ll always have a small but vocal group of people who think you’re wrong, rude, or inconsiderate. They are the righteous majority for moral authority, and nothing you can say will appease them.

So don’t try. Their mockery and screams of outrage are merely signs that you’re headed in the right direction.

8. You focus on SEO before you get your first link

Whenever a newbie starts asking me about SEO before they’ve even written a post, I always know they’re doomed. There is no better way to write ho
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rrible, crappy content than to deliberately stuff it with keywords in an attempt to boost your search engine rankings, when what you really need is for people to link to you in the first place.

If this is you, immediately throw salt over your shoulder, turn around three times, and spit. Then forget everything you think you know about SEO. Study smart SEO instead. (But pay attention to the next item.)

9. You believe SEO is the secret to building a popular blog

First, let me set the record straight. I am a big fan of SEO. I’m just not a fan of the pedestal many beginners put it on.

SEO can’t, by itself, make a popular blog. First, you need remarkable content, and then you optimize it for search engines. Skip the remarkable part, and all the optimization in the world won’t help you.

10. You’re saving your best ideas for later

Are you planning to do an e-book or course, and you’re holding back all of your best ideas, waiting for your blog to get popular before you publish them and make gobs of money?

If so, stop. To riff on Warren Buffett, waiting until your blog is popular to publish your best ideas is like waiting until you’re old to have sex. Get your good stuff published today.

11. Your blog is about … well … everything

One of the quickest way is to frustrate your readers is to write about everything that’s on your mind.

Here’s why: people don’t come to your blog to find out what you think. They come to your blog for solutions to their problems. The moment you stop talking about them is the moment they stop reading.

12. You don’t know the benefit

Pop quiz: one year from now, how will your reader’s life be better? What specific, measurable results will you have helped them obtain?

We are not talking about “Having a greater sense of fulfillment and prosperity.” We’re talking about “They’ve lost 20 pounds” or “They’ve brought in five high-quality new clients.”

If you can’t put your content in these terms, you’re setting yourself up to fail.

13. You think you deserve more traffic than you’re getting

Do you feel annoyed that no one appreciates the value of the knowledge that you’re giving away for free?

I know I used to, and it took several years of struggling to realize no one is entitled to attention.

You have to earn it, day in and day out. No exceptions.

14. You have a science, engineering, or technology background

I know, it sounds horribly prejudiced. But here’s the deal: scientists, engineers, and other types of technologists are trained to be objective, passive, and detached — all three of which will destroy you as a blogger.

No, you’re not doomed if you have a background in one of these disciplines. But it is a handicap, and you need to be aware of it.

15. You’ve never read a book on copywriting

Writing a blog post without studying copywriting is like hunting for buried treasure without a map. You might be able to do it, but you’ll have to get astoundingly lucky.

If you haven’t studied copywriting, you should. Like right now.

16. You have no idea what keeps your readers up at night

Great writing is about intimacy, and nothing is more intimate than knowing what keeps your readers up at night.

Find out what makes them afraid, find out what makes them excited, find out what’s going through their mind at 2 a.m. Then use it in your blog posts. You’ll be communicating with them on
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such a deep, emotional level that it will be impossible for them to ignore you.

17. You write less than 1,000 words per day

Of all the warning signs, this is probably the biggest. If you’re not writing at least 1,000 words per day, it will be difficult, if not impossible, for you to write anything but mediocre content.

Try writing at least 1000 words every day for 30 days, and see what an impact it has on your writing. You’ll be astounded.

18. You read less than 10 hours per week

Besides writing a lot, you also need to read a lot. It exposes you to different writing styles to learn from; it gives you new stories and metaphors; it keeps you abreast of what’s going on in your field.

In my opinion, 10 hours a week is a bare minimum. If you really want to be good, think more in the range of 20-40 hours a week.

19. You’ve never talked to a reader on the phone or in person

A one-hour conversation with one of your most ardent readers will teach you more about how to communicate with your audience than anything else you can do. If you’re not doing it at least once every month or two, there’s a good chance you’re falling out of touch.

20. You’ve been blogging for less than six months

Okay, we’re at the end, so I’ll go ahead and admit it: not everything is your fault. If you’ve been blogging for less than six months, there’s almost nothing you can do; your content is going to suck to some degree.

Keep your chin up, expect to be ignored, and just keep going. You’ll get good soon.

The bottom line

I’d love to tell you that producing great content is easy. I’d love to tell you that there are shortcuts. I’d love to tell you can do it with your brain on auto pilot.

But I won’t, because we’re being honest here, right?

Producing great content is work. No, it’s not building a pyramid or putting a man on the moon or curing cancer, but it does take time, energy, and dedication.

If you’re sitting here, right now, worrying about whether your content sucks or not, that’s actually a good sign. If you’re worrying about it at 2 in the morning, that’s even better.

Achieving greatness in blogging is the same as anything else. You have to work your butt off.

If you’re willing to do that, then there will always be a place for you on the web. You’ll always be in demand. You’ll always be able to stand out.

It’s tough, yes, but it’s worth it.

So, what are you waiting for?

Hurry up and get started.

About the Author: Jon Morrow is Associate Editor of Copyblogger. Get more from him on twitter.

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Launches have been on my mind a lot lately. Not just because of Jeff Walker and his PLF3 release, but because I have been on a crazy launch kick myself with several back to back. I have learned a fair bit about what to do and what doesn’t work so well, especially in the area of email promotions.

My main discovery, though, I gleaned from my Shy Networking launch. This launch was a pared-down affair, because of all the other launches taking place all over the world at the same time. I didn’t want to have a showdown with the entire Third Tribe!

Funny thing was, out of the blue I discovered the concept of ELO — and that we all need a little more of it in our email marketing.

Just add ELO

You’ll probably have guessed I do not mean the sweet, sweet musical stylings of the popular 1970’s pop and rock combo Electric Light Orchestra. So what kind of ELO am I talking about?

E: Emotion & Empathy

If you want your subscribers to connect with you and your offers then you are going to hav
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e to demonstrate empathy. Use emotional triggers to evoke feeling, as well as appealing to logic and reason.

Between the lines of your communication, through story and metaphor, you need to convey that you are a person just like them, almost like secret messages talking directly to your reader’s subconscious.

You don’t need to fabricate a history to fit into some loss and redemption story or a Wild West hero-type template. Draw on your own anecdotes and messages to show your audience that you understand what they’re going through, because you’ve been in their same situation.

L: List Leverage

You’ve probably heard that your prospects might need to hear about your offer many times before taking action. This seemingly conflicts with the equally oft-touted advice to avoid bombarding your audience with stuff they do not care for.

How do you keep communicating when so many people want to reduce email load?

The answer is to segment your audience into lists. Ask people to raise their hands if they are interested in a particular kind of product or service, and put them onto a list where they can find out more about that thing and nothing else.

You can easily launch two products at the same time without overwhelming either list, because each list will only be receiving the emails that promote the product in which they’ve expressed interest.

Another way you can leverage lists is to get your offerings in front of lists belonging to partners and contacts that exactly match your most ideal prospects. Offer valuable content to their subscribers that is tuned to their interests. You’ll get a great response rate and you won’t burn out your own subscriber base.

O: Objections

The best launches are a conversation rather than a broadcast. Check your assumptions, and listen out for problems as you go through the launch. Ask for feedback constantly so your list will feel encouraged to tell you about problems or resistance. Make sure you communicate clearly to address those objections and fix any points of resistance.

You might find out that there are problems you don’t really want to fix. You like using clever wording in your email marketing because you think it makes you one sweet talkin’ woman with a distinctive voice.

But you might just be causing confusion and convincing your list that your product really isn’t right for them. Listen carefully to objections and fix them before they derail your launch.

Works like strange magic

ELO might not put you on your way to setting a new world record. But by implementing these elements, you will gain many more sales and a deeper connection to your subscribers. Give it a try and watch the magic happen.

And the next time you’re planning a launch, ask yourself if you need to add more ELO.

About the Author: Chris Garrett is a professional blogger and the founder of Shy Networking, a program designed to help introverts connect to anyone with ease and confidence. He blogs at chrisg.com.

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Roger Ebert’s name is synonymous with movie reviews. Many of us remember him bantering with Gene Siskel on the TV shows Sneak Previews and At the Movies. But he doesn’t banter much anymore. He lost his ability to speak due to complications of thyroid cancer in 2006.

Ebert may have lost the lower part of his jaw, but he hasn’t lost his voice. He continues to receive new acclaim and appreciation for the quality and feeling of his writing in books, newspaper reviews, and criticism.

It shows a deep sense of character. But it also shows a few other valuable traits we as content creators would be wise to develop in ourselves.

Keep a sense of humor

I’m sure Ebert must have some bad days. He can’t speak, eat, or drink.

But it never affects the quality of his writing. His words continue to sparkle and shine with life.

He receives continual praise for the power of his insights and the humor sprinkled within his work. Ebert’s recent criticism of Glenn Beck show that his wit and sensibility are
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still strong. He doesn’t go for the laugh-out-loud moment, but he uses sharp observation and quiet humor to pull the reader in, as he does in The London Perambulator.

Lesson: There is little in life that’s more valuable (to you and to your readers) than a sense of humor.

Focus on what you can do well

Ebert was a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer before becoming a famous film critic. Some people think his writing is even better since he lost the ability to speak. His ability to analyze and reflect on movies (or virtually any topic) is strong. He writes in a way that reaches both the average person and his peers.

Ebert is rarely in front of cameras any more (his recent appearance on Oprah is a memorable exception), but he remains a prolific writer. He uses notepad and pen to communicate in person and the keyboard for larger audiences, and he communicates constantly.

Profiled recently in Esquire magazine, Ebert offered up a journal entry to explain the power of writing:

When I am writing my problems become invisible and I am the same person I always was. All is well. I am as I should be.

Lesson: Be thankful for what you can do well. Do it as long and as vigorously as you can.

Be honest

Ebert has plenty to complain about. For that matter, so would a couple of other smart guys like, say, Jon Morrow or Stephen Hawking.

None of them is wasting his time whining, though. They’ve had their fair share of happiness and fulfillment. They all enjoy what they do and they are damned good at it. They don’t look for pity. They are sincere when they say that they are doing what they love to do.

The Esquire article features a small picture of a Post It note written by Ebert:

There is no need to pity me. Look how happy I am. This has led to an exploring of writing.

In his post Putting a Better Face on Things, Ebert gives a frank and insightful look into his feelings about reconstructive surgery and prosthetics.

Ebert’s journal has produced close to half a million words of honesty that are touching thousands, if not millions, of readers.

Lesson: Use your life experiences to fuel your work and offer others education and inspiration. Be forthright and frank whenever you talk about yourself.

Let your passion save and sustain you

Ebert makes this point loud and clear in the Esquire article: Writing is what saves him.

His journaling has led to a gripping and moving exploration of the art of writing. Writing provides him with continued purpose in trying circumstances.

How many people is he inspiring with this new phase of work? Millions?

Can you do the same? It’s worth thinking about, isn’t it?

Lesson: Your passion can carry you through hardships. If even a fraction of that passion spills into your content, the potential to build your audience and develop true fans is huge. Don’t phone it in. Bare your soul. Engage.

And follow the examples set by the greats like Ebert. They know how it’s done.

About the Author: Mark Dykeman is the founder and main brain of Thoughtwrestling, a blog devoted to developing ideas and bringing them to life. He is the author of the award-winning blog Broadcasting Brain. His work has appeared in numerous blogs, including Mashable.com, Dumb Little Man, Pick The Brain, Copyblogger, and more.

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Last week, Brian threatened to replace me as the writer of the Copyblogger Weekly Wrap-Up. All because I left for vacation without writing up the second post from last Friday, and chose instead to lay on the beach ogling bikini girls.

The ensuing confrontation on Monday was quite heated.

“Yeah, I ditched … what are you going to do about it?”

“I MADE you and I can BREAK you,” Brian responded, frothing angrily.

“It’s JOHNNY’S wrap-up,” I yelled back. “That name has mindshare, baby. You can’t fire me now because then there will be no JOHNNY. Check and mate!”

Unfortunately, he outfoxed me and I will retire after writing this intro. I hope you enjoy the remainder of this Wrap-Up, which has been written by the former guitarist for The Smiths, Johnny Marr.

Here’s what happened this week on Copyblogger:

Tuesday:

How to Dominate Your Niche Without Apology

This rollicking post was written by one Nathan Hangen, who explains wh
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y apology is bollocks when you’re trying to do your internet bloggery thing. Why stop in advance of trying to make a point to tell your readers, “Right-o, this is just my own opinion, and I’m not trying to convince you that it’s totally on the mark – you can just take it as being my own thoughts on the matter.”

That’s rubbish, and much too British for most of you. If you want to dominate your niche, you say what you have to say as if it’s fact, and you don’t pussy-foot about it.

Consider that Morrissey wanted us to play “Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning” and that several of us said, “Steven, honestly … what’s with you saying, ‘Hooray’ repeatedly while the girl is going under?” Do you think he knuckled under and said, “It’s my opinion that this lifeguard is lazy and might do such a thing?”

No. He said, “Shut up and play, Johnny … I have a hair appointment.”

Read the full post here.

Wednesday:

8 Reasons Rich People Hate Their Lives

I have to say that I didn’t initially agree with the title of this post. Smiths money has me richer than the queen, and I played in Modest Mouse and they paid okay too, and I don’t hate my life nearly as much as I hated playing “Vicar in a Tutu,” which, when you think about it, very few rich people are required to do.

Yet, some bird named Sonia wrote a whole report on the topic, and I see where she’s going with it. There are successful people like me who love their lives, and people like Morrissey who seem miserable with everything including success. So what makes the difference? You should read her report to find out.

(Honestly, Morrissey was a downer even in the best of times, and I’m pretty sure his lawn cuts itself because it’s so emo. So I’d wager that one of the 8 reasons rich people hate their lives is “because they’re Morrissey” — that depressive wank.)

Read the full post here.

Wednesday part 2:

Scribe: New Versions & Better Features

I can’t wait to get my proper new website and use Scribe on it. Then when people use Google to find out “who wrote the greatest Smiths song ever,” they’ll know it was me, not that miserable fop Morrissey.

In fact, let me ring up my web designer this instant.

“Hullo? See here chap, is my website live yet?”

“You’ve said that before … that joke isn’t funny anymore. I bloody well need an answer!”

“Look here – when you say it’s gonna happen now, well when exactly do you mean?”

{ click }

Bloody web designers.

Read the full post here.

Thursday:

10 Surefire Ways to Land More Customers

This post by David Brim explains how to treat your customers as if they were fish, even if they aren’t fish.

If you want them to bite on your offers, you have to “bait the hook properly.” If you want better odds of landing customers, you should “go where the fish are.” If you want to get more business out of existing clients, you “roll them in beer batter and deep fry them.” And if you’re working an upsell, you “serve them with chips and a pint.”

So if you want to land more customers, read this post. You could even do it while eating those fish and chips. Just don’t go crazy with the vineg
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ar on the chips, because then you’ll stink and your customers will just say, “Bugger off; You Reek-A!!”

Read the full post here.

Friday:

How to Build a Successful Business with a Small Audience

It’s a shame that Truant got sacked because I understand he has some sort of fixation with gnomes, and this post about “small audiences” was cheekily topped with a photo of lawn gnomes. (Lawn gnomes are diminutive, hence a brilliant play on the synonym “small.” Get it? Jolly good fun!)

The post itself by Jonathan Mead (who I understand is not diminutive) is about creating a profitable business without having scads of subscribers and readers. Essentially (and Jonathan explains how this is done) you do this by making that small audience very loyal.

Which makes sense, really, because though The Smiths weren’t as massively successful as say, the Rolling Stones, our fans would hop into wood chippers on our command. Even the ones who weren’t suicidal already, and I’d guess that was at least 25 percent of them.

Read the full post here.

About the Author: Johnny Marr is the critically-acclaimed former guitarist for The Smiths, most recently a member of Modest Mouse, and the composer of How Soon is Now?, the greatest Smiths song ever written.

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t recall Leonidas apologizing to the Persian army before battle.

I definitely don’t remember Russell Crowe’s vengeful Maximus sitting down to write a few notes of sincere and profuse regret before he suited up and took out a couple of gladiators.

Do you?

Then why do so many people ask forgiveness right before they actually do something worth doing?

You can see it in the way they write.

Of course, this is just one person’s opinion …

I could be totally wrong about this …

I’m not trying to pretend I’m some kind of expert but …

When I read things like that, it’s like watching Tyler Durden cry.

It’s just not right.

When I think about great, response-focused copywriting, I think about a writer reaching out, grabbing her audience by the collar, and snarling, “Buy my stuff or leave, but make a decision.”

The end.

What are you doing this for?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time for
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anything but decisions. I don’t post on my blog in order to kill time between flower-arranging and playing bridge. I post on my blog in order to create a response. To attract a certain type of person.

Granted, I definitely piss a lot of people off. There are many of you who probably cringe as you read this. Fair enough.

But if I lie to you to make you like me, what does that make me? A liar, no?

I’d much prefer to make you hate me. Not because I want street cred or because I actually enjoy annoying people, but because in making one person hate me, I make others love me.

Havi Brooks or Michael Port would say I’m rolling out my “red velvet rope.” I’m not just turning people away. I’m forming a bond with other people who are on my wavelength.

It’s this bond that builds tribes, and it’s this bond that builds businesses.

Instead of pandering and trying to sell a little bit of something to everyone, I’m selling a lot of something to a small bunch who believes in what I’m trying to do — my version of 1,000 true fans.

Don’t just sell … lead

To me, leading a tribe means you need to finally accept who you are, to write the truth as you see it, and never apologize for it.

Let’s face it, there are hundreds of thousands of blogs that look just like the next. It’s easy to think that you should do the same, but that’s a fast road to failure.

Readers are begging for someone to not only be different, but to own being different.

Want to lead your own tribe? Don’t show them how to fit in. Show them it’s OK not to.

When they see you’re willing to be first over the wall, they’ll be thrilled to follow you into battle.

In my journeys throughout the blogosphere, I see far too many people concerned about offending someone or possibly even making an enemy.

I’d argue that cowering in the corner just makes you look like everyone else. Which gets you nothing.

So get out there. Be real. Be yourself.

And don’t you dare apologize.

About the Author: Nathan Hangen writes about web entrepreneurship at NathanHangen.com, and about how to bootstrap your business without losing your savings or your sanity at The Bootstrap Sessions. Follow him on Twitter @nhangen.

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Easy-to-navigate tutorials on the “Copyblogger method” of creating a profitable online business or marketing your offline business online.
An organized reference guide to the “best of the best” that’s appeared on Copyblogger over the years.

Internet Marketing for Smart People is a free 20-part course and ongoing newsletter that’s delivered via email. Each week you’ll get a new lesson on one of the four essential pillars of effective Internet marketing.

You don’t have to be a genius to master Internet marketing. You just have to be smart enough to take us up on this free offer.

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Last week, I told a story about how Brian lured me down to Texas, loaded me up with tequila, and convinced me to become a walking endorsement. Now, I’m biased, but I thought that was funny. But what was more funny was that there were a handful of people who actually thought I had gotten “Scribe” and “Thesis 4 LYF” tattooed onto my arms.

This misunderstanding proved that sarcasm doesn’t always translate online. But more troubling, it also established that people feel that the ladies walking the streets around that tattoo parlor and I have similar opinions about what money can buy.

So this week, I’m going to be more clear. I did not get any logos tattooed onto me. I was not mistakenly pronounced dead and delivered to a medical college. And no matter what Brian and Sonia may say later, I did not hack Copyblogger and redirect it to Rather Good.

Yet.

Until I didn’t do that, you can check out what happened this week on Copyblogger:

Monday:

How to Write an Article That
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Draws Thousands of New Readers

Sean D’Souza explains how to write an article that draws thousands of new readers. All of us should pay attention to this advice, because more readers means more potential donations in the event your blog fuels a religion based on Xenu, the tyrant ruler of the Galactic Confederacy. It could happen.

Sean lays out why an article that Psychotactics ran was passed on a zillion times, retweeted endlessly, and garnered a bunch of new newsletter signups… and it wasn’t because it was written elegantly. It was all because of three specific things.

I could tell you outright which three things did the trick, but then I wouldn’t be doing my job as a teaser-writer. And how am I going to get the FTP access needed to hack this site that way?

Read the full post here.

Tuesday:

Chris Guillebeau wrote a post on Tuesday for the 24-hour-only re-release of his Empire Builder thingy, but now it’s sold out. So there’s nothing to see here, move along.

No, really… there’s literally nothing to see here. Let proceed, shall we?

Wednesday:

How to Promote Your Blog on TV for Way Less Than You Think

According to Dean Rieck, the advent of Google TV on the AdWords platform means that I can advertise my blog on TV. It sure is a good thing I stole all of those Teleprompters.

This was a surprising notion to me. It makes sense, though; Google actually controls the universe, and besides, I guess a network would rather take my tiny offer than have a spot open during which they’re forced to run sports bloopers or possibly Gilmore Girls. Who knows?

You could totally be the next Ron Popeil. I’m going for Joe Francis, but that’s just me.

Read the full post here.

Thursday:

Three Training Tips to Become a Better Blogger

James Chartrand totally duded it up in this post, talking about working out, and being all sweaty at the gym, and pumping iron until you bleed, and hunting with your bare hands, and driving sports cars off a cliff while playing Russian roulette with a Cuban hit-man named Rocco, who has a Chuck Norris beard and an eyepatch.

But then she (how am I supposed to handle the pronouns here?) turned the metaphor on blogging. And just like chugging NO-Xplode shakes and doing curlz until your massive gunz explode, blogging takes training and time.

Expecting to blog really well and effortlessly (and be received with great response and praise) right out of the gate would be like expecting to bench 500 pounds while your partner yells “YOU GOT IT! FEEL THE PAIN!” at you on your very first trip to the gym.

Get all ripped and swoll here.

Friday:

How to Write Your Ass Off

Brian commented once that my Copyblogger posts are never about writing. So to correct that (I can’t live in a world where Brian Clark is correct), I decided to write about writing on Friday. The result was this post containing a silhouette of Freddy Krueger and talking about having multiple personalities. And so it goes.

See, I’m two different people. One is Johnny B. Truant, and the other is the guy who hangs out with my wife and kids. I need both of those guys. Johnny isn’t always kid-friendly, but without Johnny, I wouldn’t have exposure in the blogosphere, and my kids would be living under the freeway. Schizophrenia for the win.

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I think that being two people is a huge benefit for any creative person, but it’s also really helpful when playing board games alone, standing in two lines at once, or when pretending to be Julius Caesar and Abraham Lincoln.

Read the full post here. Or maybe here.

About the Author: Johnny B. Truant writes (and builds awesome websites) at JohnnyBTruant.com and is one of the guys behind Question the Rules. You should also really check out his Jam Sessions with Charlie Gilkey, because they’re filled with tasty informational nuggets that will make your business better.

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Imagine you woke up this morning and wrote an article.

Just another article like all the articles you’ve been writing. Except something is different about this one.

Tons of folks are clicking on this article. They’re reading it and forwarding it to friends. They’re signing up to your newsletter in droves. The numbers go into the hundreds, then into the thousands, then into the tens of thousands.

What was it about that single article that created such a surge of traffic?

This exact scenario happened to us. The article was on headlines. We wrote about three specific steps to create pretty awesome headlines.

After giving the article ten minutes of reading time, you’d be able to write a pretty good headline. Better still, you’d know when you got the headline wrong, and when you got it right.

The power of the article wasn’t in the prose

The power was in the three psychological principles we brought into play.

Empowerment
Specific steps
Minefield warnings
Empowerment

Giving your readers the power of new knowledge is the most important thing your articles can do. Empower your reader with a new skill they didn’t have ten minutes ago, and they’ll not only be grateful — they’ll want to get more of what you have to offer.

Empowering articles are like a magic potion. Drink down what it has to say and you walk away stronger, smarter, and more powerful.

Why wouldn’t you get excited and sign up for more of what this article writer has to offer? Why wouldn’t you share it with your friends?

Specific steps

You’ve read how-to articles before. Most of them are like foam on your cappuccino — just fluff.

They seemingly draw you in to tell you ‘five ways to do something’ but each step goes off on a different tangent. After your reader is finished, he still doesn’t feel like he can take action.

Give your article a sequence.

Start here, do this.
Then do this.
Then this.

Step by step, teach how to do something from start to finish. Give your article specific steps in sequence, and you’ve just boosted the power of that magic potion.

Minefield warnings

Telling your client exactly what to do doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be able to execute those steps without tripping up. You have to show them where they might stumble into a trap — we like to think of it as navigating the minefield.

Where they’re likely to get it wrong. Where others have got it wrong before. By showing them potential pitfalls, you continue to empower your reader by giving them the power to anticipate problems before they happen.

It’s like having x-ray vision. You’re creating something amazingly powerful.

What happens next?

When you write an article that hits all of those points, you’ll find that your readers start signing up for your newsletter, forwarding the article to their friends and clients, and tweeting the heck out of the article link.

Why? What makes this article something that people want to pass on?

When you wrote the article, your readers felt empowered by the information, and they felt grateful enough that they signed up for your newsletter or your RSS feed. They may have even bought products, services, or pricey workshops because of how empowered you made them feel.

They wanted more of that feeling.

When your readers pass on the article to others, they get all of those rewards too, just as if they’d written the article themselves. They’re passing on the gift of empowerment — and getting rewarded just like you did, with grateful clients who want to work more with someone who can give them that heady feeling.

But will those tens of thousands of readers show up tomorrow?

Not unless you work to leverage your article.

We not only published it on our own website and blog, but we also repackaged it as a PDF (which is given away free). Over time clients, bloggers, and other readers have read it and passed it on.

Make your article available in lots of different formats and promote it as much as possible. If you’ve followed our three steps and it’s a truly empowering article, pretty soon your readers will be doing the promoting for you.

Don’t rely on a fluke

Occasionally, someone gets lucky and writes a great article that goes viral without any strategy behind it at all.

You may indeed get up one day and write a great article by fluke. But flukes are not a strategy. Use the three steps outlined above and use them as often as you can.

And then watch as the trickle of new readers turns to a flood.

And the flood into an unending deluge.

About the Author: Sean D’Souza offers a great free article on ‘Why Headlines Fail’ when you subscribe to his Psychotactics Newsletter. Be sure to check out his blog, too.

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If you’ve read the Federal Trade Commission’s new 81-page Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising, you might think the FTC is a really nice bunch of guys trying to do the right thing by consumers — which, for the most part, is true.

And yet, I just don’t think they give most consumers enough credit.

Maybe fifty-odd years ago, when many people believed everything they read or saw on TV, a bit of paternalistic condescension might have been advisable.

But today?

Today, who believes anything anybody has to say?

We are a nation of cynics, skeptics, and disbelievers.

Does anyone believe politicians will keep their promises — about anything?

Would anyone stake their life on what they just read in the New York Times, The Washington Post, or saw on CNN or FOX?

And can we honestly believe that actual adults at football games really wear sleeved blankets with their butts poking out the back?

So I’m not sure the new guidelines are doing all that
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much for consumers.

For us marketers, though, that might be another story.

On the brighter side . . .

Thanks to the FTC, your competitive landscape, along with the Internet and your mailbox, won’t be so cluttered.

Thousands of fly-by-night marketers will simply stop marketing — because they’re unable or unwilling to tell the truth.

No longer permitted to manipulate facts in their favor or influence perception by playing fast and loose with various forms of social and statistical proof, they’ll seek less-regulated fields to till.

For example, marketers who rely on spectacular testimonials must now clearly state the substantiated generally expected results, too. Not just the one, two or three over-the-top results from a few outliers.

And if marketers can’t substantiate their generally expected results, well, they’re now limited to testimonials that don’t quantify results but merely display a common level of customer satisfaction.

Of course, if those testimonials are not exactly awe-inspiring, many marketers will simply quit including testimonials altogether.

Affiliate marketing comes out of the closet, too

Slapping up a sales page and posing as an impartial reviewer won’t be so easy anymore.

The laziest affiliate marketers who’ve been relying on fast and easy clicks to make a living will probably disappear.

Not only will affiliate marketers be required to disclose that they’re getting paid or compensated to review or endorse a product, they also need to actually be a user of that product, too.

Obviously, affiliates who advertise hundreds or thousands of products will either have to limit themselves to a personally manageable handful or hire a huge back office.

Either way, their free lunch is over.

Of course . . .

If you’re an adept and capable marketer you’ll thrive

First, there won’t be as much “marketing noise” emanating from your less-ethical competitors.

The threat of an FTC-imposed $16,000-per-day fine should help quite a bit with that.

And with less competition, your market share should grow, if only by virtue of being one of the businesses in your niche to survive the marketing shakeout.

But increasing your business is far from guaranteed — even if you satisfy the new FTC guidelines and are indeed the last man standing.

Adjust your message accordingly

Just deleting testimonials or coming out with a weak marketing message will obviously not increase your sales.

Marketing isn’t a cut and paste job. You can’t treat it as a series of mix and match templates. New approaches to sales and marketing will have to be created, or old ones brought to the fore and refined.

Creative marketers and copywriters will still be the ones getting rich in this new and evolving FTC environment — though many of the individual faces may change.

Marketers, to survive and thrive, will need to return the selling discipline to what it should’ve been all along: an honest and transparent offering of genuine benefits.

If the FTC were completely successful (which, of course, isn’t likely), hype in all its empty guises would disappear.

Deceptive manipulation of facts and statistics would disappear.

Unrealistic claims and one-in-a-million results would disappear.

Hidden self-interest and undisclosed compensation would disappear.

Now I don’t think the FTC can usher in some new utopia of honesty online. But they will have an effect, and that effect will be to push many marketers to more candid and honest communication with their target market.

Marketers and copywriters will need to work, maybe not harder, but certainly differently, on a more open and higher level to acquire new customers.

Marketers will need to employ sales copy that is straightforward, transparent and realistic — yet still compelling and persuasive.

They’ll need to make disclosure into a selling point, using transparency as a sales tool.

This will require an inordinate amount of marketing skill and savvy.

(And, in many cases, it will simply require better products.)

Transparency’s net effect: better products, better communication

Clearly, confessional and authentic sales copy can’t rescue bad products. Some products just aren’t well-served by that much honesty.

But creating a remarkable marketing and sales approach, even for a quality product, isn’t just about embracing FTC guidelines.

The guidelines have raised the bar, it’s true. The new killer copywriters will be as ethical as they are persuasive. Those who can rise to the occasion will succeed and thrive.

Those who can’t meet the new standard . . . well, there’ll be many of those indeed. And you can be sure they’ll be searching for loopholes to keep old practices alive.

About the Author: Barry A. Densa is a freelance marketing and sales copywriter. You can reach him at 805-236-4801. To view samples of his work and sign up for his free ezine Marketing Wit & Wisdom, visit WritingWithPersonality.com.

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This is another addition to our ongoing series of tutorials and case studies on landing pages that work.

Nicole Johnson wants to get babies and their moms some much-needed rest. She’s packed napping plans, schedules, and strategies into her $37 ebook/consultation package. She’s tried different pricing, Google Adwords, different offers, freemiums, and more to pop conversion, but her results still ping between a snoozy 0.5 to 3%.

She has good traffic, but needs more help getting those tired, sleepy moms to buy. Let’s see if we can’t help Nicole give her sales a much-needed wakey-wakey.

The Goal: Increase conversion (currently below 4%).
The Problem: Nearly 3,000 visitors monthly, who show an interest in the free information but don’t ultimately translate to sales.
Content Marketing Strategies: Various. Nicole’s free Baby Nap Guide is one piece she uses to get users into her email funne
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l
The Current Landing Page: www.babynapswell.com (home page)
Value: $24.95 to $37

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The Maven’s 10-Point Critique
#1 – Your first screen has to answer the question — Why do moms want their babies to nap?

Because they’re exhausted! They want a relaxed, rested child and a chance for themselves to rest and recharge for a few hours. They’re desperate for RELIEF and they want it now.

What’s the deep, realized benefit to your ebook? Your ebook helps break the vicious no nap/irregular nap cycle, makes mom feel more competent and secure as a parent, and makes it easier to enjoy her baby.

So here’s the problem — you’ve got 2-3 seconds from the first screen to get your reader involved in your message. Perhaps they’ve already reviewed the free nap info, perhaps not. In either case, you don’t present them with a rich, emotionally resonant headline. You’ve basically repeated the banner head as if it was a headline. It’s not. At first glance, I also have no idea you’re selling anything at all. It isn’t clear to me.

So be clear. Develop and test your headlines that speak directly to the mom’s emotional environment — Too tired to enjoy your baby? Dread the nap-time power struggles day after day? In just XX days, you CAN turn your pint-sized nap-fighter into a sweet-smiling, nap-lover. All you need are the right strategies and tools . . . and so forth.

#2 — Get personal. Get emotional. Talk to your readers, Mom-to-Mom, in a letter format.

Dear Cranky Mom,

A few years ago, I was just like you. I was a new mom with a new baby that no matter what I did wouldn’t nap or when she did, it was short and fitful. When this kind of stuff goes on too long, even the most confident mom in the world begins to think she stinks at this mom thing. I was sure I was doing something wrong but I didn’t know what to do instead.

Your current copy is factual, but a little bloodless. It doesn’t speak to the heart and the desperation that I know I felt when my kids were little and wouldn’t sleep. If ever there was a problem/solution fraught with anxiety and a deep need for help, this is it. Make sure your copy reaches the frazzled mom with solace and hope that she will, once again, get a chance of closing her own eyes for an hour or two in the afternoon.

Get personal with video. I think this could be very effective for you, especially if done professionally. (I don’t think a simple chat to the webcam would support your value or credibility.) Imagine how wonderful it would feel to “Tired Mom” to have someone talk right to her and tell her that relief is in sight.

#3 — Make the case why napping issues need a $37 solution.

There are a ton of books, sites, products, and even support groups devoted to sleeping issues. I wondered why I needed a special book about napping as opposed to a broader sleep solution. That’s probably the biggest challenge you have to overcome. You’ll want to make sure your copy continues to underscore how the daytime napping problems are different and need a different set of strategies to solve them.

#4 — Show and tell the product you’re selling. Put your first call to action in the first screen.

If you want people to know you’re selling a book, you gotta show them the book and YOU’VE GOT TO SHOW THEM THE TITLE. I didn’t even realize your ebook was called “Maste
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ring Naps and Schedules” until I saw it mentioned in a testimonial at the end of the second screen.

Your cover is very appealing so I’d definitely give it above-the-fold prominence, perhaps working it into the banner art. You also need to give your prospects the opportunity to order at several points in the copy, starting with the first screen. You want one button, text link or other call-to-action (CTA) device per screen scroll. (Right now, it takes me 3 screens to locate the order buttons.)

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I prepared a heatmap so you can see what people look at and what they look at first. Too much attention to elements that don’t promote your message means lost sales opportunities for you. (Free heatmap courtesy of the technology at Feng-GUI.com.)

#5 — Tell me precisely what I will get and learn from your ebook.

Give your readers a bulleted list or two of goodies, and be specific.

28 proven strategies that will . . .
3 easy-to-use tools that make . . .
12 ways to get well-meaning grandma off your back . . .

Etcetera. Nothing strengthens copy more than specificity. You already do some of this. Do more.

Also, take the feature and expand it into its core benefit. For example, “How to get LONGER naps” becomes “10 ways to get longer naps from your baby and more couch-time for you.”

#6 — Emphasize that your system works for nearly all babies and parents.

Everyone, including me, thinks their baby and parenting situation is unique. That’s why you’ll want to make sure your copy reinforces that your system works for nearly all young children — preemies, internationally adopted toddlers, twins, and also that it works for all sorts of moms and dads. Use your testimonials as a way of underscoring this.

Think about personas representing your customer types. Who is this ebook really for? Write out 3-5 ’stories,’ each representing a key member of your core parenting market, and make sure your copy delivers the message, “Yes, this ebook is perfect for someone like me,” for each one of them.

#7 — Establish and reinforce your expertise on the subject. Add a headshot.

Who are you and why are you qualified? That’s another one of the big challenges your copy needs to address. Unless I missed it, I don’t see anything about you. If you want me to spend $XX, I want to know enough about you to think I’m spending my money wisely. You don’t have to have an alphabet soup of degrees following your name, but you do need to reveal something of yourself and background within the context of your offering.

#8 — Edit, edit and edit some more.

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Your moms are tired. Their eyes are glazing over looking at dense, forbidding text in super long paragraphs.

Think shorter, 2-5 line paragraphs. Use lots of subheads and bulleted lists to hook the eye and make scanning and scrolling less like a chore. People only need the science/other background about napping to support your ebook’s information. Don’t give more background than is necessary to help folks make a decision to purchase.

#9 — Test a 2-column format. Load your sidebar with testimonials.

Get the bulk of your “Mom-and-Baby-Tested” testimonials here. Again, edit these judiciously. You want each
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of these to amplify and illustrate your ebook’s core strengths. I’d also get some pediatricians, pediatric nurse practitioners, daycare center directors, home daycare moms, etc. to weigh-in with their big thumbs-up. Run these short, punchy kudos adjacent to your main copy.

#10 — Simplify the offer.

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You need to differentiate your offers more emphatically with titling– “The Deluxe Complete BabyNapsWell System with Personal Consultation” and the “Standard BabyNapsWell System” — and with better design. I might box these and play them side by side. Perhaps add your headshot into the Deluxe box as a reminder of the relief AND personal attention your prospect is about to purchase.

BONUS:

I’d think about giving your ebook a new title. This is a huge topic for so many parents living in the fog of “my baby never sleeps.”

“Mastering Naps and Schedules” lacks the emotional juice of “No More Naptime Tears: Get Your Baby to Love Naptime So You Can Love Yours” — or something like that. You want a title that clearly, perhaps cleverly gets the point across fast. You want your title to spell RELIEF IS AT HAND.

My thanks to Nicole Johnson for her patience and support of Heifer International. Look for my next makeover in approximately 3 to 4 weeks.

Want to get a future Copywriting Maven landing page makeover?

Got a landing page that’s more poop than pop? Willing to share with Copyblogger readers? Prepared to put a little of your own “skin in the game” for a Maven Makeover? Then follow your click to Maven’s Landing Page Makeover page for all the details. I’m booked for gratis “Heifer” critiques until 05/15/10.) If you’re interested in a private critique/makeover, site audit, or other services, please email me directly.)

About the Author: Roberta Rosenberg is The Copywriting Maven at MGP Direct, Inc. Find her @CopywriterMaven on Twitter.

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